Despite their seemingly unbreakable armor, narcissistic men are actually very vulnerable underneath it all. They’re just brilliant at hiding their tenderness from women under their layers of manipulation, lies, illusion, unhealthy behaviors, and possibly playing around with your heart.
Have you ever found yourself in a romantic relationship, and you give him everything, and you’re left with nothing and you feel more powerless than ever before? And you still thought he was your ultimate soulmate or Twin Flame? It’s humbling–you feel drained and super confused as to why this happened to you…. He could be a narcissist man. Here are the 7 signs so you can tell for sure…
Here are the 7 Signs of the Narcissist Man
He has no boundaries and doesn’t want you to set any. If you don’t set your boundaries, you will be victimized by narcissists; narcissists energetically cord into your chakras and leech energy like “energy vampires,” and they’ll do the same with emotions, attention, physical space, finances…and pretty much anything! So set your boundaries and put up psychic protection as well.
He feeds off of your insecurity. He tells her she’s wrong, isn’t entitled to having what she wants, and puts her down to keep her small. If a woman is lonely and desperate and longing for love, she’s likely to attract someone is (a)is attracted to her neediness, and (b) is repulsed by her neediness like he was with his mother. The narcissist man feeds off of abuse and her fear of abandonment, as he has inwardly felt manipulated and abandoned by his co-dependent mother since early childhood. So, by finding a woman who is equally insecure, needy, and longing for love, she makes him feel important–but he has to put her into an insecure state to “keep her.” Macho men who put down women are an example of this. Deep down they’re the ones who are most afraid of being abandoned and heartbroken! That’s why it’s our job as women to take responsibility for our insecurity and heal our Divine Feminine Wounds.
He manipulates, takes without giving, and justifies it every time. An over-giver is always going to be his target, as he feels entitled to taking, taking, TAKING….He actually doesn’t feel strong and secure in the world without a woman’s presence, though that’s the last thing he’d admit. These manipulators often sleep around with women or are into serial monogamy. The narcissist man has unhealed Mother Wounds–as his mother didn’t set healthy boundaries and was either overly attached or detached. The narcissist man feeds off of his over-giving partner who often gives from guilt, hoping that he’ll stay if she is “good enough” to him.
He leads you to believe that he can give you the whole fairytale, but he never really does. The narcissist man needs his woman to believe that he’ll soon bring her what she wants, and thus attracts women who are often hopeless romantics, fantasizer types, and dreamers. Deep down these women are wounded by the patriarchy and lack self-esteem so they cannot ask for what they truly deserve. When you’re living in a fairytale waiting for prince charming but you don’t feel good enough, you settle for fakes.
He’s not a truth teller, he’s good at lies, and doing what it takes to get his way. He does this because deep down he doesn’t feel good enough to face the truth. He feels that without embellishing a little (or a lot) he’s not good enough. So he builds up a puffed up false ego that he hopes will attract women in awe. If this is you, if you’ve been duped by a liar, you’ll want to ask yourself, “Where do I feel small, and where am I lying to myself?” This type of man is magnetized to women who are naive and innocent, so make the effort to educate yourself about your circumstances, step into your power, and ask for what you’re worth. If this man can’t give it to you, the right one will!
Lack of empathy. He lacks empathy, you’re an empath. You’re feelin’ for two, baby! Where he can’t feel, you’re there holding the space for the emotional intelligence…but for him! The job of the empath is to feel how she is feeling, and not get stuck in how others are doing. While easier said than done, the empath female must say NO to any behaviors that feel like a violation. When she starts taking herself and her own emotions seriously, she’ll no longer keep attracting narcissists who don’t have the capacity for empathy.
He’s a perfectionist. Whether or not he’s trying to be perfect himself, he puts pressure on you either verbally or you just feel it, to be the perfect woman. He is controlling and seeks perfection, and projects this onto you. So maybe your diet to have the perfect body for him, say or do things to impress or become an overachiever at work…If you’re a perfectionist, end this cycle by choosing not to care about external appearances so much; instead go inward and work on the self-love. Then it’s certain that you’ll no longer magnetize this type of man!
Women, let me know what you felt hearing this list… Have you dated a narcissist? And why do you think you attracted this? What are you doing now to boost your self-worth to prevent these patterns from happening again? I would love to know in the comments below.
Elephants are a sign of the Divine Feminine, and while the Divine Feminine is awakening rapidly, we’re running out of time. We need to remain calm and steady, but we can’t keep waiting.
We have to let go of our perfectionist ways and take action. We must love ourselves first, feed the Feminine, and heal our wounds. This is a top priority. We also have to say NO to men who mistreat us, and nurture the little boys and also set healthy boundaries with them so they gain a sense of self.
One of my favorite things to do is donate a percentage of my income to saving the elephants. Click the link below in the description box to donate to the David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust and help an orphaned baby elephant rehabilitate. Your contribution is not only a cause for African Wildlife but a cause for healing the Divine Feminine Wounds.
Thank you so much, beloved…
Stay tuned and subscribe to my channel, as I will be releasing a few more videos this week about narcissist patterns in men, and after that I’ll be posting about healing the Divine Feminine Wounds, something I discovered I’m deeply passionate about as well.
Thanks for dropping in sister, give a “like” if you want to support my channel, and I look forward to seeing you next time!
Feminine energy is a powerful healing energy that allows us to open to receiving. Feminine, referred to as yin energy in Traditional Chinese Medicine, is an energy that tends to be more calm, compassionate, and caring.
Without the feminine, we’re in trouble...
Everyone--both men and women--have masculine or feminine energy, and that these energies must be balanced. Many people, even women, are lacking feminine energy (or are hiding their feminine side) in the overly-masculine world.
In the modern world, women are expected to be more nurturing, soft, and beautiful while being successful and sexy. We’re expected to be mothers and CEO, romantics and leaders. The past history where women were once suppressed is crumbling as women quickly break the chains. We are calling out old behaviors, creating #metoomovements, and are stepping away from the patriarchy.
The parts of ourselves that we love and hate are mirrored onto our Twin Flame.
Dang it! I thought when we found our Twin Flames we were going to live in a magic bubble and never have to deal with problems again.
In this post I want to underline how important it is to accept ourselves, and how the way I have rejected myself showed up in my Twin Flame relationship. I almost became the Twin Flame Runner that I so despised because I nearly rejected myself. I don’t want this for you!
Self-Rejection Shows up as Those Annoying Things About Your Twin Flame
I used to have body image issues. Still do. Which is why I projected that I needed a Twin Flame to be as hot as a conscious Ashton Kusher.
I thought I had to have a man like that to be happy in life. My Twin Flame, as it turned out, has reddish hair and a very red beard, which I was NOT expecting and it took me time to get used to. I’m picky! He’s not dark and tan like the man I always fantasized about. He gets sunburnt on Sundays at brunch. Before I met him, I was sure I had to have a tan muscle-man in order to feel satisfied.
Believe me, my Twin Flame has a sexy body. Great arms, broad shoulders I can grab onto and sink my teeth in. But he’s real. He is man and God, but boy is there no escaping that he (like me) is a raw and real human.
I have never felt comfortable with my human body, and my Twin Flame often reflects my discomfort
He’s sexy and yet he’s human. Along with the orange beard, he’s got occasional breakouts on his back (sorry babe, hope I can share!). I’m like, “Babe, it’s time to do a back facial to get rid of that bacne! Boys are so lazy. How can you tolerate bacne?!” and he’s like “Woman, men don’t care about that $hit, leave me alone my back is fine.” Then I attack him with a back brush or yummy salt scrub–and he likes it because it reminds him of being groomed by his mother. We play-fight and it’s fun.
He’s teaching me to chill about my female primping and preening perfectionist tendencies!
What you thought you wanted wasn’t always real. The key pieces that were soul aligned came true:
He’s beautiful inside and out
He’s spiritually awake
He has a heart of gold
Our soul purposes align
We love each other as God/Goddess
Our desire for birthing star children aligns
Is it important that I look like Barbie or that he’ll be my Ken? Nahhhh.
Will Jack look like a GQ model always and forever? Sometimes he does actually, but as we turn gray some day together, I won’t care about the fact that he doesn’t always scrub his back. Plus, I am starting to get more cellulite and I have to love myself there.
What I am most excited about is the way that he makes me feel, and how I get to make him feel. I am an empath, and so is he; so it pays of to bliss each other out. We adore and love each other. We stick each other out in the hard ugly hairy scary moments.
What’s more is that I am so ready to collaborate deeply with our soul purposes in business, with the new earth eco village dreams I have had, and in raising children. What can I say is more sacred than these pieces? I am lucky, and proud that my Twin Flame is a perfect reflection of me and I will continue to do my very best to live myself and of course thus love him too!
Getting your high-paying soulmate clients to sign up for your high-end coaching programs is just like getting your Twin Flame to sign up for the relationship with you. It comes from divine love and using the Law of Attraction, and it starts by being able to attract and recognize your soul family members. Twin Flame energy is reflected in every aspect of your life, not just through your Beloved. The quicker you harness it, the more Twin Flame Activation you’ll receive in all aspects of your life. Here’s a Twin Flame Hypnosis Meditation to help you attract your Twin Flame and ‘soulmate clients’ so that you can start brining your soul-family members into your energy field:
I just enrolled another beautiful soulmate client today for my new VIP 9-month program, and my heart is pouring with joy! I think I’m in love <3. I love how attracting and enrolling clients is becoming an easy, pleasurable process. And even asking for the $$ wasn’t bad! In the past, it wasn’t so… I used to get knots in my tummy when I had to give free consultations and make sales calls. Yick! I just wanted it to be easy and not have to worry about money. I thought business meant busy-ness-in-pain! My inner perfectionist led me. I was always totally freaked about whether or not they’d like me, and I was desperate to receive the money because I had never had much. When I was making the sale, I felt like an awkward dork waiting for someone to ask me to prom, trying to hint at things or even asking and getting rejected. Thank God it’s not like that anymore, as I have figured out something I call ‘Seductive Selling!’
I have mastered getting my clients ‘turned on’ and begging for more. It’s magnetic instead of involving me chasing down clients energetically. Instead of me leaning towards them and bending over backwards, they are honoring my High Priestessesness. They love investing with me because it’s the best way to pamper themselves and honor the Goddess Within :). Seductive Selling is about getting your clients to know, see, feel, and vibe in your value. You get them juicy and excited about the potential for change that you can bring into their lives. It comes from a place of you being just a few steps ahead of them, of bringing this into your own life first, and by helping them traverse the gap. I also love teaching my own clients how to attract their ‘Soulmate Clients’ by getting clear on their soul-purposes, creating an ‘Aphrodisiac Marketing‘ strategy, tuning into their ‘Erotic Brand Equity’ and turning it into Holy MatriMoney! How? Through ‘Secuctive Selling,’ you get your future client excited by the power of your work and your soul-family connection. It’s almost the same as Twin Flame or soulmate love, or is in a sense a certain form of it.
Free client consultations are like speed dating.
During the free consultation, also known as a free strategy session or discovery session, your clients will be in a vibration of Divine Yes, and selling becomes like an easy seduction of someone who is meant to fall in love with you. These sessions are like 30-minutes or so speed dates to see if it’s a soulmate match. The more highly refined your marketing is with your soul-purpose message, the better potential clients you’ll attract to your strategy sessions. It’s all great practice for the Twin Flame, and it’s such a pleasurable way of doing BLI$$ness 🙂
The bottom line:
To harness Twin Flame Love, we have to tune into our soul purposes and learn how to attract our soul family. This takes finding our inner soul light. We must know on a soular and cellular level what our desires are, what our soul-purpose is, and become ecstatic about our lives. You must bubble up with emotion of how you’re going to change people’s lives and impact the world before it happens.
Your desire to spread your own ecstasy will blast your Law of Attraction skills through the roof. This goes for the TF and for your 6-figure BLI$$ness…Lots of love and Light,
nce upon a time there was a magical little girl who was tricked by an evil toad into believing that she wasn’t Divinely perfect. He told her that there was something innately wrong with her, and that no one could ever truly love her, least of all her One True Love. Even though the evil toad’s words hurt the little girl to the core, she swallowed her tears and persevered through life, knowing that someday she would heal and find her True Love. The girl grew up to be a beautiful-hearted woman, a gifted healer, and a lover of all things Divine. Though she faced many trials and travails, the dream of attracting her one true Twin Flamemotivated her through her healing evolution. She kept her Light shining bright, mended the hurt Inner Child, and realized that it was all a lie — Silly toad! In fact, one day she realized that she was actually a true High Priestess and that she was ready for her Priest.
Whether it was Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, or Anastasia, these tales helped us live in fantasy to escape from our own pain and abandonment as children. Yet they have stuck with us in our adulthood, and these tales are only distorted reflections of our hopes and dreams. In order to realize the true fairytale, we must deprogram the distortion and clarify our realest version of Happily Ever After. In this blog, I help you do just that if you so wish!
Deprogramming Cinderella Syndrome
Someday My Prince Will Come…Sure, that’s true, but not if you sit back on your laurels in your silly watchtower being trapped by your evil stepmother or queen (the false feminine, as opposed to the Divine Feminine upholding Divine Truth). Someday was a great idea, until someday came along and brought us lots of pain and heartache when we tried to squeeze a Happily Ever After out of the wrong mate, potential partner, or crush obsession. Ouch. Heartbroken and disappointed a few times over, yet that’s what it takes to learn the lesson. That no matter how hard we try, no man, person, place, or thing can heal us until we are willing to do the “dirty work” within ourselves. It is Lightwork actually, even when it seemed dirty and painful at the time, the results are so bright little Cinderella birdies will wanna flutter all around.
Through fairytales, we learned the main distorted message: a damsel in distress can be saved from all evil, entrapment, and from being neglected and abandoned, simply by attracting a handsome prince! In a nutshell, fairytales, though romantic and love-inspiring, teach a distorted message and false promises that can create a lot of heartache and relationship disfunction. Or even divorce… That is not so romantic! To inspire True Love, we must re-write fairytales in a way that empowers us–girls and women–especially the Inner Child. Ultimately, our fairytales must emphasize the harmonization of the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine within. The balance between independence and inter-dependence will triumph over disfunctional co-dependence forevermore.
Healing Cinderella Syndrome
Yes loves, it is time to transition out of Cinderella Syndrome, from Damsel in Distress into Twin Flame Love! These relationships will truly be Awakened ones, and hold full potential for true Happily Ever After. In truth, we Cinderellas out there have to “save” ourselves first. Being self-saved Power Priestesses makes us very eligible and attractive to the right sexy-souled partner. That way he or she doesn’t have to take care of us like a wounded daughter or little girl. Further, no one else, I repeate no one, can actually save us when we are up our damsel high towers when we are too stubborn to save ourselves first. To save ourselves, all it takes is a conscioussness. “I save myself consciousness” instantly dissolves “Save me consciousness”–you will attract an entirely different species of mate. So go do it and enjoy!
Again, to access Twin Flame Love, or any type of love, we must first realize it within ourselves. This can seem like no easy feat, especially when we have grown up in a world where our Inner Child was scarred, scared, and felt separated from the Sacred. However, that was then and this is now; the healed and whole Inner Child can now align with the Inner High Priestess to attract her Divine Partner. This is the new paradigm of 2012.
Awakening Divine Love within ourselves requires us to first observe and undo the love-limits that have scarred us and blocked us from receiving external love just like the deep moat of water and thorny brambles surrounding a castle preventing Mr. Right from traipsing in. I’ve included an easy meditation below called “Healing Your Inner Child Fairytale Meditation” that is designed to quickly clear out subconscious blocks that limit love.
The Truth about Happily Ever After
True Happily Ever After does not mean being lazy, easy, or loving without compromise. Relationships takework, just like a magical garden takes energy for it to grow. Like a relationship, you must water and plant and weed. You must decide which new fruits and plants you want to harvest; there are a lot of decisions and actions to take. You must remain commited, excited, and focused on the joy of the prizes that arrive daily. You must be able to cut your losses of the tomatoes that rot on the vine. Further, in the Garden of Love, you may prick yourself on the rose bush on occassion; even when her blossoms are so lovely it still hurts! We are all human, and we must learn from eartlhy lessons.
Healing Your Inner Child Fairytale Meditation:
Sit in a safe space and get into a grounded meditation mode. Relax, sit back, and enjoy the ride. Candles, incense, chakras spinned, and three ohms if you so please!
Imagine yourself as the most spiffy and fantastical fairy-magic castle in your own fairytale. The castle is YOU, and it also represents the home, hearth, womb, shelter, mother, Feminine, Divine Mother, etc. See a giant moat around it, and a scratchy overgrowth of thorny brambles that block out the love of your Divine Partner. Ouch! Ewwe!
Then, see a thick, heavy drawbridge that attaches to a mighty golden Divine Door to your own Divine Heart of this castle of you. Ahhh… Now acknowledge that the brambles have served you for these many years to protect you from perceived dangers. But also know that you no longer need them, for they were keeping both good and evil out, and blocking you from fully receiving as a High Priestess. Ask your guides to come into the scene now and allow the drawbridge to come down, allowing the door to your Divine Heart to gently open. Then feel the guides’ wisdom and protection watching over you and the door so that your castle is safe, protected, yet welcome to the right Beloved and loved ones who need to pass over the moat. Know now that there is no reason to attract thieves or Twin Flame counterfeits who attempt to steal hearts for you are protected, you are loved, you are love, and you are the Sacred Goddess Temple of De-Light.
There will always be joy, there will always be pain, surrender, and loss in creation, growth, and magic sometimes, in the Divine Garden on Earth, and through the Twin Flame Unions here. But on the whole, Happily Ever After can be had, as long as we align with
God/Goddess and Divine Love that begins within. I bless you and praise you for being the brave little girl who is awakening fully to her Divine Feminine light as we speak!
Dr. Amanda Noelle, The Twin Flame Matchmaker, helps women swiftly attract their Twin Flame and create 6-figure BLI$$nesses as healers.
Mild, medium, or HOT? Sometimes salsa just isn’t salsa without the spice–just like your soulmate isn’t attractive without the hot physical package! We are human and have a taste for beautiful things. We have evolved from looks oriented creatures: birds, then goats, then gorillas. These animals appreciate beauty and so do we.
Like ducks who choose the pretty mallard feathers, or the she-goats who select the winning mountain goat for his large horns, or the lucky gorilla gal who gets the coveted silverback, we humans can go gaga for good looking guys or gals. In this post, I will talk about how to bag a babe that you actually find attractive–on both physical and spiritual levels! Have I attracted your attention yet?
Attractiveness doesn’t have to be generic
Despite the fact that the soul doesn’t care about physical form, our humanness does. It needs physical beauty and attraction (however you define that) for a healthy soulmate/Twin Flame relationship. Without the spice and attraction, you got yourself a best friend and nothing more. Nothing wrong with a best friend, but don’t kid yourself.
You are probably saying, “Amanda, isn’t it superficial to say that attractive people are better than less attractive people on a soul level?” And I’m saying No, it’s not. Because attractiveness is spiritual. And its not the Hollywood kinda pretty or hot I am talking about, as attractiveness does not have to be generic. True beauty is all in the eye of the beholder. In fact, true attractiveness is simply a spiritual vibration based on high levels of sacred geometry.
The beholder interprets the geometry however he or she “likes” beauty. True spiritual beauty emanates from our physical form and it resonates with the beloved onlooker–on an eyes, ears, nose, and especially an energetic level. This is the alchemy of seeing your Twin Flame’s true beauty–beauty can only be seen by those who understand the secrets of sacred beauty.
Alchemical attractiveness lesson one: Beauty is unique.
Everyone’s attractiveness taste buds are unique, just as everyone looks unique. So there’s someone for you – there’s someone for everyone! A perfect mach on all the levels, beauty included. Throw it out NOW, the old paradigm of everyone wants Brad Pitt. That’s so boring! Stop trying to look act and be the same as the same old boring plastic model. Be you beautiful one. And stop lusting after generic plastic beauty that lacks substance.
Remember those those generically hot guys or bombshell gals that everyone wanted to date or be in high school (and sometimes they manage to stay ladies men or it girls for many years)? Where are they now? Most likely they either abused or ran away from or hopefully came to terms with the superficiality of their so-called physical perfection that got them in the door (or nether-region). A lot of the Hollywood hot people are actually suffocated or suffering with their beauty because no one can see the real them.
Yes beautiful: true beauty is on a much deeper level. We are all here by Divine Design; we are created by our creator with a perfect divine plan. We are gifted with the perfect package. We are all incredibly attractive to our Twin Flame, and vice versa. We are even granted a certain number of soulmates who find us stunning and make us feel our own attractiveness. Sometimes it can be annoying when you’re not attracted back to these people (a soulmate whose lesson/gift is to uplift your beauty confidence)! When I was in Italy I got a ton of cat calls and suitors who complimented me to the point where I stopped doing my own beauty affirmations because being told that I was hot all day long by these stallioni burned the message into my subconscious. Ironically, though their compliments helped me get into “I’m hot” instead of “I’m not” thinking, I only ended up being attracted to three men during my 3-year love affair with Italy. More ironically was that none of these men hit on me until later in our dating. Still, I will always be grateful for coming of age in Italy and hope that more American and Anglo men can learn the art of flattery and compliments from their Latin counterparts.
Ultimately, it’s about having both mutual physical attraction and mutual soul attraction for the right soulmate. Guess where it starts? It starts within…
Use the Law of Attraction!
The Law of Attraction states that “like attracts like.” Therefore, if you want to attract someone that you find attractive, you must first find yourself attractive. Hopefully you like what you see in the mirror! It’s no easy feat in this culture, where we limit the ideas of beauty. Especially for women, right!? I myself suffered from Barbie complex (and I still catch myself in moments sometimes) where I thought unless I looked like the perfect skinny toned perky Californian blondie, I couldn’t be loved or beautiful. It sucks when you live in fear of cellulite, water retention, wrinkles, pimples, and all the other stuff that comes with being woman/human! That’s not pretty. True beauty is confidence. Self-acceptance. Joy. Trust. Good posture. Open-heartedness. A smile is beautiful. In a nutshell, when you are radiant, glowing yourself, your own true Divine frequency out to the Universe, that is beautiful. Then you are a real bite of bait for the right soulmate.
Fall in love with yourself
That’s it. That’s what it takes–become a narcissist! Kidding. That’s so not the right word…Self-adoring, that’s a better fit! You don’t have to be self-absorbed in a selfish or narcissistic way to love yourself. True self-love is the kind where you are so in love with yourself that you see God/Goddess in yourself. Then, you see that God/Goddess and you are one. You feel the oneness of your soul with all souls, with divinity. You look in the mirror and see love and light that comes from your being a child of God/Goddess. And that you are not separate from God/Goddess. This becomes very exciting! Then you realize that all beings are little fractions of God, or more like microcosms of the macrocosm through which you can explore Oneness.
There are many potential soulmates out there for you to test out
Some are zany, insane, sexy, scary, goofy, interesting, boring, annoying, beautiful, and highly unattractive reflections of God/Goddess. Your job: to love everything and everyone in an unconditionally loving and compassionate way while discerning what is best for you as a human. It is not wrong to be attracted to certain types and not others. It is not wrong if you grew up around a certain type of person and feel comfortable marrying only that type of person. Never date (in the long term, one date is OK!) or marry someone you’re not attracted to. I do suggest trying to date outside of your race, class, spirituality, social group etc., so that you can understand Oneness through diversity. You will learn a lot as you seek out your Twin Flame. Moreover, it is possible that your Twin Flame is not a part of your inner circle/race etc. Many Twin Flames have reported to be living in different parts of the globe yet attract each other through divine guidance (plus online connecting or crossing during travels). They seem to often know that despite the differences of culture/race etc., there is an instant feeling Twin Flame recognition that is quite strong.
Your soul knows what you need, and your human self will be guided and follow the path perfectly to the perfect mate. It’s OK to kiss a few frogs on the journey too, but do keep in mind that you must be happy, blissful, satisfied! It all starts with gratitude for where you’re at, which is what I discussed in my article Harnessing Gratitude to Harness your Twin Flame!
Fall in love with the mirror to attract an attractive partner
Self-Love & Beauty Mirror Ritual:
Look in the mirror and repeat the following prayer/affirmation:
“I am beautiful. I love the soul that I see appearing in the mirror. The soul in the mirror loves me back. She (or he) is me. I love the home–the temple body of my soul. My body, skin, face, hair and every nuance of me is perfect. By Divine Design, I am pure and perfect love. I love myself. I am attractive. I am sexy. I am beauty. I am joy coming into human incarnation. My lashes are luscious. My skin is soft. Every corner, curve, wrinkle and nerve of me is placed perfectly so that I can attract the right person/people into my life. My body serves me for my highest purpose and I love her. My body is pretty sexy! My curves are gorgeous. My imperfections are totally perfect. I love the things I complain about, and I complain about them less and less. I love me, for all of me! Thank God/dess for the body I have, and the soul mates with which I share my body are damn lucky!”
In my recent article post, How Do I know if my Partner is my Twin Flame?, I talk about the many signs that your partner is your Twin Flame or symptoms that they’re not. I also mention that the concept of Twin Flames is not a new one, and that in his Symposium, Plato speaks of the ancient concept that Twin Flames are literally the other half of the human soul that has incarnated into a form of another, and the reason why we all have the desire to meet our soulmate (most of us do anyway). Here’s an interesting and at least entertaining read about soulmate love from our favorite Greek philosopher. Click here for my video: What is a Twin Flame? to get a better understanding of the Twin Flame theory:
Translated by Benjamin Jowett from Collected Works of Plato, 4th Edition, Oxford U. Press, 1953 (189c-189d) p 520 to (193d-193e) p 525
Aristophanes professed to open another vein of discourse; he had a mind to praise Love in another way, unlike that of either Pausanias or Eryximachus. Mankind, he said, judging by their neglect of him, have never, as I think, at all understood the power of Love. For if they had understood him they would surely have built noble temples and altars, and offered solemn sacrifices in his honour; but this is not done, and most certainly ought to be done: since of all the gods he is the best friend of men, the helper and the healer of the ills which are the great impediment to the happiness of the race. I will try to describe his power to you, and you shall teach the rest of the world what I am teaching you.
In the first place, let me treat of the nature of man and what has happened to it. The original human nature was not like the present, but different. The sexes were not two as they are now, but originally three in number; there was man, woman, and the union of the two, of which the name survives but nothing else. Once it was a distinct kind, with a bodily shape and a name of its own, constituted by the union of the male and the female: but now only the word ‘androgynous’ is preserved, and that as a term of reproach.
In the second place, the primeval man was round, his back and sides forming a circle; and he had four hands and the same number of feet, one head with two faces, looking opposite ways, set on a round neck and precisely alike; also four ears, two privy members, and the remainder to correspond. He could walk upright as men now do, backwards or forwards as he pleased, and he could also roll over and over at a great pace, turning on his four hands and four feet, eight in all, like tumblers going over and over with their legs in the air; this was when he wanted to run fast.
Now the sexes were three, and such as I have described them; because the sun, moon, and earth are three; and the man was originally the child of the sun, the woman of the earth, and the man-woman of the moon, which is made up of sun and earth, and they were all round and moved round and round because they resembled their parents. Terrible was their might and strength, and the thoughts of their hearts were great, and they made an attack upon the gods; of them is told the tale of Otys and Ephialtes who, as Homer says, attempted to scale heaven, and would have laid hands upon the gods.
Doubt reigned in the celestial councils. Should they kill them and annihilate the race with thunderbolts, as they had done the giants, then there would be an end of the sacrifices and worship which men offered to them; but, on the other hand, the gods could not suffer their insolence to be unrestrained. At last, after a good deal of reflection, Zeus discovered a way.
He said: ‘Methinks I have a plan which will enfeeble their strength and so extinguish their turbulence; men shall continue to exist, but I will cut them in two and then they will be diminished in strength and increased in numbers; this will have the advantage of making them more profitable to us. They shall walk upright on two legs, and if they continue insolent and will not be quiet, I will split them again and they shall hop about on a single leg.’
He spoke and cut men in two, like a sorb-apple which is halved for pickling, or as you might divide an egg with a hair; and as he cut them one after another, he bade Apollo give the face and the half of the neck a turn in order that man might contemplate the section of himself: he would thus learn a lesson of humility. Apollo was also bidden to heal their wounds and compose their forms. So he gave a turn to the face and pulled the skin from the sides all over that which in our language is called the belly, like the purses which draw tight, and he made one mouth at the centre, which he fastened in a knot (the same which is called the navel); he also moulded the breast and took out most of the wrinkles, much as a shoemaker might smooth leather upon a last; he left a few, however, in the region of the belly and navel, as a memorial of the primeval state.
After the division the two parts of man, each desiring his other half, came together, and throwing their arms about one another, entwined in mutual embraces, longing to grow into one, they began to die from hunger and self-neglect, because they did not like to do anything apart; and when one of the halves died and the other survived, the survivor sought another mate, man or woman as we call them,–being the sections of entire men or women,–and clung to that.
Thus they were being destroyed, when Zeus in pity invented a new plan: he turned the parts of generation round to the front, for this had not been always their position, and they sowed the seed no longer as hitherto like grasshoppers in the ground, but in one another; and after the transposition the male generated in the female in order that by the mutual embraces of man and woman they might breed, and the race might continue; or if man came to man they might be satisfied, and rest, and go their ways to the business of life. So ancient is the desire of one another which is implanted in us, reuniting our original nature, seeking to make one of two, and to heal the state of man.
Each of us when separated, having one side only, like a flat fish, is but the tally-half of a man, and he is always looking for his other half. Men who are a section of that double nature which was once called androgynous are lovers of women; adulterers are generally of this breed, and also adulterous women who lust after men. The women who are a section of the woman do not care for men, but have female attachments; the female companions are of this sort. But they who are a section of the male follow the male, and while they are young, being slices of the original man, they have affection for men and embrace them, and these are the best of boys and youths, because they have the most manly nature.
Some indeed assert that they are shameless, but this is not true; for they do not act thus from any want of shame, but because they are valiant and manly, and have a manly countenance, and they embrace that which is like them. And these when they grow up become our statesmen, and these only, which is a great proof of the truth of what I am saying. When they reach manhood they are lovers of youth, and are not naturally inclined to marry or beget children,–if at all, they do so only in obedience to custom; but they are satisfied if they may be allowed to live with one another unwedded;
Is Leo showing us a clue here of Plato’s Twin Flame concept?
And such a nature is prone to love and ready to return love, always embracing that which is akin to him. And when one of them meets with his other half, the actual half of himself, whether he be a lover of youth or a lover of another sort, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and one will not be out of the other’s sight, as I may say, even for a moment: these are the people who pass their whole lives together, and yet they could not explain what they desire of one another. For the intense yearning which each of them has towards the other does not appear to be the desire of lover’s intercourse, but of something else which the soul of either evidently desires and cannot tell, and of which she has only a dark and doubtful presentiment.
Suppose Hephaestus, with his instruments, to come to the pair who are lying side by side and to say to them, ‘What do you mortals want of one another?’
They would be unable to explain. And suppose further, that when he saw their perplexity he said: ‘Do you desire to be wholly one; always day and night in one another’s company? for if this is what you desire, I am ready to melt and fuse you together, so that being two you shall become one, and while you live live a common life as if you were a single man, and after your death in the world below still be one departed soul, instead of two–I ask whether this is what you lovingly desire and whether you are satisfied to attain this?’–
There is not a man of them who when he heard the proposal would deny or would not acknowledge that this meeting and melting into one another, this becoming one instead of two, was the very expression of his ancient need.
And the reason is that human nature was originally one and we were a whole, and the desire and pursuit of the whole is called love. There was a time, I say, when we were one, but now because of the wickedness of mankind God has dispersed us, as the Arcadians were dispersed into villages by the Lacedaemonians. And if we are not obedient to the gods, there is a danger that we shall be split up again and go about in basso-relievo, like the profile figures showing only one half the nose which are sculptured on monuments, and that we shall be like tallies.
Wherefore let us exhort all men to piety in all things, that we may avoid evil and obtain the good, taking Love for our leader and commander. Let no one oppose him–he is the enemy of the gods who opposes him. For if we are friends of God and at peace with him we shall find our own true loves, which rarely happens in this world at present. I am serious, and therefore I must beg Eryximachus not to make fun or to find any allusion in what I am saying to Pausanias and Agathon, who, as I suspect, are both of the manly nature, and belong to the class which I have been describing. But my words have a wider application–they include men and women everywhere; and I believe that if our loves were perfectly accomplished, and each one returning to his primeval nature had his original true love, then our race would be happy. And if this would be best of all, the best in the next degree must in present circumstances be the nearest approach to such a union; and that will be the attainment of a congenial love.
Wherefore, if we would praise him who has given to us the benefit, we must praise the god Love, who is our greatest benefactor, both leading us in this life back to our own nature, and giving us high hopes for the future, for he promises that if we are pious, he will restore us to our original state, and heal us and make us happy and blessed.
This, Eryximachus, is my discourse of love, which, although different to yours, I must beg you to leave unassailed by the shafts of your ridicule, in order that each may have his turn; each, or rather either, for Agathon and Socrates are the only ones left.