Call me Crazy! What’s Wrong with Being Crazy?
So one of my biggest fears has been to be perceived as a crazy woman. I’ve been called crazy by almost every man I have dated, and it’s my pet peeve. Call me crazy, but I don’t think I am the only woman alone in this matter. In fact, I believe that it’s a woman’s deepest hidden (or known) fear: to be a crazy woman. Yet after years of fearing that I was crazy, I finally embraced it, and the good news is that I think that there’s nothing crazy or bad about being crazy at all! In fact, since I have embraced my inner crazy woman and stopped being so embarrassed by hear out of control waves of emotion, energy, and passion, I realized that I’m more grounded, stable, and “normal” than ever. OK, maybe not on the outside all the time (like in my Burning Man pic above), but the energy within me feels calmer, tender, grounded, peaceful, and the waves of hormones are in balance too. I used to struggle from hormonal issues and waves of suicidal depression would hit me for a day or two each month before my period. I had chronic acne around my chin and was afraid of feeling my emotions because I thought I would go crazy.
My Crazy Meltdown
Before my 30th birthday I did something crazy that got me in trouble, got me arrested (it wasn’t as bad as Orange is the New Black), and I nearly lost my mind for a few months because of the stress, sleep deprivation, and trauma. But during that time I just let my feelings fly, not editing them, just feeling them. I got so sleep-deprived that one day I called a free suicide hotline at 6am because I could barely handle the dose of crazy that I was hitting; I was told by a therapist that I should go on anti-depressants. I thought about it, but it didn’t feel like a yes in my heart.
The Healing Medicine Was to Feel
So, instead, I just let myself go into the pain, cry, and cry. And cry and cry. And talk, with family, friends, therapists. Then weep some more. Talk to the trees if I needed to. Talk to my dog. And I erupted the feelings that were welled up within me since my childhood, and perhaps something deep, ancient, and primordial for the Divine Feminine. All I can say is that it was an intense Dark Night of the Soul. What happened is that it took me many months of healing, and a slow and steady journey of feeling into my healing over a period of a few years. But slowly I have realized that I am happier than I have ever been, and that my inner crazy isn’t crazy at all! It’s a huge gift of creative force energy that is passionate for life.
Women Are Crazy Walking Miracles
So call me crazy again, but aren’t woman by our nature kinda crazy? Isn’t it absolutely nuts that we can:
- Make tiny people out of one sperm in our wombs?
- Give birth to these people and raise them with our intuition?
- Drop an egg out of our ovaries every month, sometimes on the dot?
- Mirror the cycle of the moon in the sky (come on, a 28-day lunar cycle in your pants is pretty crazy)?
- Make milk out of thin air and deliver it out of our tatas?
- Have multiple orgasms?
Since my crazy dark night of the soul, I have created a life of crazy bad-ass miracles. I created a community of beautiful women who are following their passions. I have traveled the world, from Bali to Greece to Costa Rica. I have built a successful 6-figure BLI$$ness working 3-days per week. I have matched many women to their Twin Flames. I have given birth to Aphrodite University, the first online Divine Feminine-based university for High-Healed Priestess. So the next time you are afraid of being called crazy, or you label yourself as a crazy woman, why not think of crazy as an awesome word? Like wicked became wicked cool, or nigger became nigga’, or dyke became a term used in the LGBT community.
“Girl, you so crazy!!!!”
Well thank thank you, thank you very much. I do know that I am crazy sometimes, and in a good way. I love it, and I am proud. Redefining crazy is all that I needed. And the gods must be crazy too, because look at this place, it’s hilarious! Dr. Amanda Noelle is the Founder of Aphrodite University and she helps empower women to live their most crazy blissful dreams in real life.
In my YouTube video, What the Heck Is a Twin Flame? I define a Twin Flame as the other half of your soul incarnate. It’s living breathing you in the carnage (physical human form) of another. Same soul, different meat-suit.
According to Greek mythology, we were all once attached to our Twin Flame. If we had a male or female other half attached directly to us. But our powers were too strong, we became so godlike that Zeus got jealous and
had humans sliced in half. ‘Til this day, we’re still suffering looking for our Divine Match, according to this metaphorical (I think!?) legend. In another blog article, What Is a Twin Flame? Twin Flame Q & A by A Twin Flame Expert, I talked about the difference between a Twin Flame Love and a soulmate love.
A soulmate in essence is a soul who comes in to teach you a lesson (and vice versa) and it can be romantic or not. If a Twin Flame being the other half of your soul can be a very exciting concept for those of us new to waking up, or those of us who have been awake but not yet totally aligned in relationship. Twin Flame seeking then becomes a very beautiful path of self-discovery then.
Not many people have known about our ability to attract a Twin Flame up until recently.
Many spiritual schools taught that a Twin Flame is something not worth seeking or of importance; some schools teach that it’s outright impossible for most. But it’s 2016, and the matrix energetics are realigning. New perspectives are allowing us to seek the answers within, and often times the answers say “I don’t choose to believe that,” and it is so. We are what we think. Beliefs shift reality. Once indoctrinated to believe we simply couldn’t have what we wanted, now we can indoctrinate ourselves with whatever we choose.
In 2012, we became our own doctors. Our own teachers, masters, gurus, shrinks, and lovers. That doesn’t mean that we can’t get external guidance and motivation along the way and that all external mentors are ineffective. Contrarily, teachers are simply mirrors of ourselves showing us what we believe or deep down know inside of us. When we have false teachings show up, it’s ourselves giving ourselves a test with a trick question on it. Do you (a) Write it off that you can’t have your Twin Flame because someone told you or it hasn’t happened, (b) Believe in Twin Flames but choose that it’s not likely for you, (c) Stay openminded and open-hearted to the idea as you deeply seek deep self-soul love, or (d) Decide that you definitely have to have a Twin Flame or else (you’ll die perhaps!?)? The best answer I suggest is (c). Why not give love a try, with the parachute on your back being the deepest sense of self-love and self care?
How do I know if my partner is my Twin Flame? First, ask yourself, do you even really want a Twin Flame? Here is what is required of being in a Twin Flame relationship:
- Deep soul evolution, being on an Ascension path
- Self-awareness at all times, on all levels
- Being conscious from a Higher Self perspective
- Being grounded in the earth plane and facing your insecurities
- Going through a Dark Night of the Soul, if needed, to get to the Higher Self aspect
- Healing your root chakra and learning to make friends with money, survival, and wealth consciousness
- Being willing to surrender everything you currently “know” as love
- Being willing to leave a bad marriage or even a pretty decent one that is not your Twin Flame relationship
- To learn and know the difference between karmic soulmate love and Twin Flame Love vibrations
- Letting go of the way things look
- Being willing to fall in love with someone who might not fit into the box of traditional relationships
- Being open to your Twin Flame being on another side of the globe or of a different culture
- Tons of clearing, healing cleaning, de-cluttering of your aura, home, finances, and all aspects of your life so they align with the truth
- Finally, and most importantly: deep unconditional self-soul love and gratitude
Darn! That’s a long list, I know you’re saying. It is. Yet think about all the soul growth you’ve already done in your life and even over the past few years. That’s a long list too.
Even if you have just a few things on the list above, you’re already getting Twin Flame set if you so desire. Now back to the question, how do you know if you’re in a Twin Flame relationship? Simply study yourself and how you are showing up in your current relationship.
Twin Flame Examination Starts at the Self.
First focus on YOU, and not the relationship (an external Twin Flame Mirror of you)…
Staring at you allows you to empower yourself and go to the source of the Twin Flame relationship, since you’re the only one you’ll be with 24-hours a day for the rest of your life! And you are the one who decides if someone is your Twin Flame. I have been told by several men that they were likely my Twin Flame and with pressure and persuasion behind it for not so Light reasons…it seems “Hey baby, I think you’re my Twin Flame” could be the latest New Age pickup line!
When we don’t start at ourselves, we often end up in situations of abandonment and needing to heal a broken heart by a false Twin Flame
Here are the questions to ask yourself as you evaluate your current relationship to see if you are with your Divine Beloved:
- Do I deeply know myself?
- Do I love what I see when I look in the mirror?
- Do I spend lots of time doing things I love?
- Do I have a rock solid relationship with rocks, nature, trees, water, earth, fire and even fairies?
- Do I give myself full credit for being as powerful as I am?
- Do I criticize or hate myself in any way and let myself get away with it?
- Can I financially support myself and do so blissfully or do I have a job I hate that gives me migraines?
- Do I have a relationship to my sensuality and understand my sacred sexuality?
- Have I let go of all of my past relationships fully?
- Does my heart feel so open wide that I love all things?
- Do I have a huge dose of unconditional self-love?
- Do I have a huge doses of unconditional love for every being on the planet?
True Twin Flame Litmus Testing to Be Released Next Fall!
Joking:) So you wanna take a litmus test to know if your guy/gal is the Twin Flame for you?! Pee into this panel and I’ll send it off to the lab and tell ya:) Kidding! While they haven’t come out with a Twin Flame fool proof test, you can try this one to get some good ideas:
- Have I “come out of the closet” as a healer, indigo, crystal child, rainbow, etc, or do I hide myself and my talents to “play it safe” in front of my partner?
- T or F? In a way, I know I could leave this person, because we are so entirely at one that on some level it doesn’t matter if we’re together or apart. I have faced my fears of disappointing him or her and my own fears of abandonment.
- Am I staying with this person for the sake of the children, appearances, or out of insecurity?
- Do I find this person attractive on most all levels?
- Has your partner ever abused you verbally, physically, or psychically?
- Is your relationship of service to the planet in a way that serves people outside of the relationship/family? (This can count even if it’s through deep love energetically releasing to the world).
- Is there one single thing that doesn’t fit that keeps eating away at you or the relationship that you can’t let go for over more than a year? Sorry, I hate to break it to you, but this sounds like a deal-breaker…
- Have you not unlocked some really old childhood fears and behaviors and family programs that are inhibiting your current relationship to a great degree? (this is not a total sign s/he isn’t the one, but it’s a good sign that as you heal, your energy will greatly shift making you more TF eligible).
- Does your partner fully love you and support you and accept you?
- Does your partner reject your ideas frequently, or not understand who you are on the deepest level?
- Do you and your partner not know a lot about each others Higher Self energies?
- Would you give your life for this person? If so, that’s not a good sign! You have to always put yourself first:) That was a trick question BTW!
Truly the best way to know if someone is your Twin Flame is to know yourself. Don’t forget that you are your greatest resource at all moments, and you are the Godchild/Goddesschild of the One. Feel free to check out my video How Do I Know if Someone is My Twin Flame?
Dr Amanda Noelle, the Twin Flame Matchmaker, helps match High-Healed Priestesses with their Twin Flames at light speed while helping them build 6-figure purpose-based BLI$$nesses.