I used to think that I was a freak because I was always distracted, running late to appointments, getting lost in my own world, and doing 7 things at once that contradicted each other (like burning the rice on the stove while putting something really important on hold). The worst was getting yelled at by teachers, bosses, or coaches when I was young for not paying attention. If only they knew how hard it was for me to pay attention!
For me, paying attention was like trying to glue something heavy to a wall using cream cheese; unless I found something truly captivating, my mind would fly off into space. Once a subject lost my attention, my mind would swim off into another world. My first grade teacher would yell at me for being a day dreamer because I would daze out the window thinking about fairies (and I actually still believe that there were some, silly old man!). But the fairies were so much more exciting than listening to him talk about the capital in Turkey or how to do time tables.
My world is like living in a dream, where you don’t know which world is awake, and which world is asleep. To you “normal people,” if you lived in my world, you’d probably have more compassion for me too.
I was 17 when I was diagnosed with my learning disability. It was embarrassing to admit to my friends and family that my brain was some how less able. I envied the other smart kids’ who got the answer right on the first try or who could read quickly while taking reading comprehension tests without getting distracted. Reading comprehension was the worst! I still shudder to this day thinking about it.
But getting diagnosed my senior year in high school was actually a huge relief and a Godsend. After getting tested, I was told that I had a slight learning disability categorized as a “tracking disorder,” which was supposed to make things for me nearly impossible to do without writing things down and finding alternative ways of learning. The biggest gift at the time was that it allowed me to take my SATs or ACTs with extra time, which raised the scores dramatically, obviously. For a long time I felt guilty and that I didn’t belong to Duke University, my alma matter, because I felt I’d cheated on the test.
Now I realize that my life is so successful because I have learned to pretty much constantly cheat on everything, and that I have always had to do this. Because if I don’t do things my own way, I get bored, distracted, and my brain launches into space.
Fear and anxiety also trigger my learning disability, which make me make all kinds of silly mistakes, and sometimes I even get slurry in my speech, distracted, over excited, and making sense becomes a big challenge. You can notice this in some of my YouTube videos.
I am the fairy of BLI$$! I am learning BLI$$-abled!
Today what I love most about myself is that I call my learning disability a learning BLI$$ability, because I have had to learn how to learn in a new way, and it becomes fun and even blissful. To make money, I had to find work that was interesting. Because again, boredom for me makes it impossible for me to stay focussed. And, I couldn’t take a lot of high-stress detail oriented jobs, which is why for my entire 20s I was only making a 4-figure salary, struggling to pay rent (or not, and living with my parents!).
Sure it was hard to have a bigger brother who went to Brown and Princeton and a top MBA program in Spain without needing extra time on his SAT, GRE, or GMATs. But I have learned to be proud of my way, who I am, and my BLI$$ability. Further, my hatred of standard learning has inspired me to teach women how to study, earn and learn blissfully at my online university for High-Healed Priestesses called Aphrodite University.
If you have a learning BLI$$ability, know that all of your dreams can come true, and that your limitations are actually a gift. You do have to be creative, and to think of cheating as part of the game! There is no need to force yourself into a box when you can roam free and shake the world up, and have a lot of fun along the way. Maybe you’re not even meant to be an academic. For years I worked as a licensed esthetician and it was nice to take a brain break and just massage skin cream into people’s faces and talk about their ideal boyfriend or what their kids were doing. Just because you aren’t a doctor, lawyer, biz exec, etc., doesn’t mean that you are better or worse than anyone. Just be you, and know it’s enough. That you are Divine Love incarnate, and that’s pretty great!
The main thing is to love yourself where you are at, and to let go of perfectionism and expectations. You can have it all, even if you have a diagnosed (or undiagnosed) learning BLI$$ability. Here is a video on healing perfectionism that might inspire you further:
This year, I’ve been reclaiming my passion for writing again, despite the fact that I have a slight learning disability that makes it really easy to make typos, get distracted, and become incredibly self-critical.
I used to struggle with low self-esteem, feeling stupid, not good enough, and it petrified me from sharing my voice through writing. When I did write, it was like pulling teeth, and I had to edit my work like a million times. It was no walk in the park.
It didn’t help that I am now writing about esoteric ‘woo woo’ topics (part of the job as a Twin Flame Matchmaker) that often brings up a lot of my insecurities (like Will they think I’m crazy?!)
As a Twin Flame Matchmaker with a successful private practice, writing has been a key way to access new clients while expressing my heart and soul with the world.
Yet just a few years ago I was blocked in my writing, in my career, in my finances, and in my power. I drove myself so crazy with my blocks, that I nearly wanted to leave the planet because I knew how far away I was from living my talents, dreams, and soul-purpose.
Wahooo….I broke free!
This year’s writing breakthrough helped me heal myself, and my writing has really made an impact on my BLI$$ness (business + bliss + big buck$) which recently hit 6-figures. I am still in shock after making 4-figures all through my 20s! The key secrets to my writing and BLI$$ness success is speaking from my heart, not caring what people think, and being in service while loving myself as a High-Healed Priestess. Bet you didn’t see that coming, did ya?
Writing was love-hate for me before this year. I hated deadlines, feared critics, and knew that I’d be making loads of ‘mistakes,’ typos, and grammatical errors. Unless I hired a professional editor (which cramps my style and just didn’t appeal), I knew I’d be baring my ass out to the world, which was just embarrassing! Yet I was called to spread Light, share my message, and teach others that they too could be Lightworkers changing the world without having to be perfect. Oh, and get paid in the process!
Me writing in my ‘office with a view’ in Crete, Greece
I just love getting paid to write while helping people, like I used to do in my early 20s when I was an expat nutrition and fitness writer in Shanghai (which never made me much money, but it was a start and I was less self-conscious because there was so little competition there as most writers wrote in Chinese!).
Though I am not yet technically a ‘paid writer’ directly through articles or books, I am paying myself with the income I gain from clients who find me via search engines using words like “twin flame soulmate” and “goddess of abundance!” So my writing dreams have come alive again in the most unexpected way!
How to make money off your blog (a few tips):
There is no one right way to make blogs pay off. I know my way has been fast and effective, and it doesn’t include making money directly from the blog, but comes from people finding me through my blog. Blogs can make you good money if you know how to convert readers into paying clients or customers. I highly recommend selling high-end services or products if you’re brand-spakingin’ new in your biz. I would have starved to death if I started selling products at $5-50/pop. I see most spiritual people writing blogs and doing services by donation (e-begging) and it makes me so sad to see those PayPal icons when I know they could be helping people while making good money from their high-end services or products.
Selling is also a big piece of the picture, but I will talk about that in other blogs. Mainly I wanted to reiterate how beneficial it has been for me to gain readers via the blog, gain their trust, and then convert them into paying clients whom I love! These Soulmate Clients burst my heart open with joy, and they feel like they know me before even meeting me because of my blogs (and YouTube/social media posts as well). My clients almost always tell me they hire me because they appreciate my rawness, my weirdness, and my unique flavor. It’s almost as if they can recognize that we are soul family before even meeting me, simply by reading my blog or viewing my YouTube channel. And what a marketing time-saver, instead of marketing to individuals over and over – blogs make you money while speaking to a vast number of peeps! Love the spiritual leverage.
Selling through your spiritual blog is really awesome!
Luckily, I have a magical gift in selling to my Soulmate Clients (soul family members who receive your soul-purpose based services in exchange for financial currency). I am super psyched to be teaching my students at Aphrodite University how to use my Seductive Selling tips to their Soulmate Clients who visit their sites! Because I have converted my blog readers, Facebook followers, and YouTube viewers into paying clients, my 6-figure BLI$$ness has taken me to magical and exotic travel destinations this year, which has unleashed a creative beast in me. I highly recommend trying to make money as a spiritual healer, teacher, writer, Lightworker – your bliss saves your own life as it saves the world!
My perfectionism got converted into my pleasurerrectionism!
What’s more, is that I’ve learned to accept my typos as ‘quirks’ and have really let go of perfectionism! This yielded way more readers, better blogs (if you ask me), and wayyyyyy more pleasure on my part. Because of this, I have successfully been able to write a blog a week (and sometimes several per day because I get so excited!). Blog writers’ block GONE….Cheers to having overcome a diagnosed learning ‘BLI$$ability,’ healing shame about the way I learn and express myself. Anyone can do this, because if I can do it, so can you sister!
My writing adventures have taken me and come with me abroad this year. I have made several blog entries on my pink Macbook Pro Retina from San Francisco, Greece, Italy, Costa Rica, and Los Angeles. My favorite writing local was a remote spot on Crete overlooking the ocean, where I got to access internet via my iPhone’s SIM card. Oh, it was from an ancient cave, a house built right into the cave wall! The views of the ocean, olive groves, and mountains were stunning, and I believe my creativity cracked open on Crete this year (as well as my inner cretan who just doesn’t care what others think about me!).
I highly recommend visiting Crete to rekindle your ties to Ancient Atlantis, if you feel connected and called. Everyone I know who has gone there has come back with the souvenir of more creativity, an Atlantean activation, and a Higher Self soul-alignment. I highly recommend traveling with your writing to wherever your heart and Higher Self guides you, you won’t regret it.
To me, writing has become an indulgence that happens to help some people (or at least that’s what they’re telling me), that helps me express the real me, that gets my ideas and thoughts solidified. Oh, and expressing my inner love and putting it out there into cyberspace brings me a great deal of joy. Finally, the BLI$$ buck$ that naturally seems to be following are a hoot too!
It’s time for you too, baby…
It’s so cool that I’ve used my ‘imperfect brain’ to build a 6-figure BLI$$ness I love! I never would have imagined that my fun goofy side that loves to roll with the punches, channel Pleiadian Light, and be as wild and woo woo and as weird as I want to be could be appreciated, paid, and professional all at the same time! Check out my blog to help you bust blog perfectionism here.
I say YES to loving and living your dream and writing it all out like a giant ongoing love letter to the world. I say go now, no matter how low your self-esteem is, how imperfect you are, or how stupid you believe you are. I say, the weirder, the better. The world has been suffering of boredom for centuries and it’s making us all sick in the head!
You can achieve your dreams, your bliss, your abundance…Because you are a holy friggin’ awesome child of God/dess and the world needs your love and wisdom and woo woo magic! That’s all the recipe takes. Now go bliss, bless, and blog your heart out to the world in 2014.
Lots of BLI$$ings and good blog fortune.
Dr. Amanda Noelle is a Twin Flame Matchmaker and Founder of Aphrodite University.