When we lose a love in our life – someone or something we really loved – is it ever possible to fully recover from the loss? And what can you do to move on? Love is something we create; but when we lose a love it can make us crazy. We hurt so badly, going “Where did the love go?!”
In this post, I will address the fastest way to turn lemons into lemonade, and how to turn loss into love.
This week I personally suffered a devastating loss. As some of you may have noticed or heard, my YouTube account, AphrodisiacTV, was mistakenly deleted by a communication misunderstanding with Google Apps tech support. The support staff agent didn’t know what she was doing, and wasn’t clear about what I was asking for, and in trying to help me, she walked me
through the process of permanently deleting my Google Plus account which erases everything on your YouTube as well (since Google now owns YouTube). Just days before, I had been celebrating my YouTube channel success with my friend and BLI$$ness Producer, Melissa Waldron. It was a dream to have a successful YouTube channel, and I had worked through so many self-confidence battles to take it to where it was in just 3 short years. I’d uploaded over 300 videos, accumulated over a quarter million views, and reached a couple thousand subscribers. My YouTube channel is indeed how I have met so many of you cool people, attracted my Soulmate Clients, helped people attract their Twin Flames, and build my 6-figure BLI$$ness out of nothing but love and $200! A few hours later after talking with Melissa, I went back to my channel, and it was gone. Vanished. Caput. All I saw a message that my account was closed. My heart fell into my stomach. Earlier that day, I’d also received several compliments from fans saying that my videos had changed their lives personally in significant ways. It was so touching to hear how I’d inspired one woman to go for her dreams to and another to attract her Twin Flame. When at midnight all I could stare at was a black screen that said “This account is closed,” I wondered what the h$ll God was thinking! I spent hours researching why this had happened and how to remedy the problem. I spent hours researching why this had happened and how to remedy the problem. I’d done nothing wrong: it was clearly a mistake of Google’s staff not being trained in YouTube support yet they don’t even have a YouTube support line. I spent a few days in confusion, anger, denial, desperation, and also a vague feeling of hope. I felt helpless, like someone who had been dumped, thrown aside, abandoned. It is heartbreaking to realize that 300 videos that had taken hours to make, edit, and release, were never going to be seen again. I had put my heart, soul, and best information into those videos with just a broken link to show for it.
Isn’t this just like a breakup? Where you demolish an outmoded structure that was once held by passion, where these sacred exchanges that taught you so much just fall by the wayside. And then one day, it’s all just gone, and you have to trust that something better will come along when you’re still on the floor plucking shards of glass from your bleeding knees. The worst moments in my life have been when he (some guy I pined after for days/months/years) leaves you or you leave him, or you mutually and lovingly decide to go separate ways, and you don’t have the next lily pad to hop onto. Instead, you’re floating around in the swamp muck with no clue as to when the next lotus blossom will bloom. It makes you question what the heck God is doing, and if there is a god at all. And it makes me really wonder if my Higher Self is an angel sniffing crack.
It just, hurts to know that we have to suffer and lose and go through pain.
No matter how spiritual you are, no matter how capable you are of making separations and tuning into Divine Love, it still hurts, at least for a little while. We are in that place of pain that happens before a rebirth. Yet behind the scenes, I knew everything was happening for reason! When I first saw the deleted channel, although there was lots of panicky thoughts racing through my mind, my Divine Mind said loudly and clearly, “This is happening because there’s something bigger that needs to come through, and this channel needs to be deleted to clear the path.” I always trust my guidance now, because I have learned that She is here to teach me. I have to listen now. After much experience, I now know that there is a deeper meaning for everything that happens, including every death, loss, breakup, and tragic event. I have been at the brunt of several, and I have undoubtedly seen the greater purpose of each one, once the event has passed. This is called graduating to the next level in the School of Life. It doesn’t mean that it’s easy to see or trust it, especially when it’s happening! But I have gotten enough practice from Spirit to know that it’s better to sit back, relax, and tune into the ‘blesson’ – the lesson + blessing – that is coming through to teach me where to go.
So what do you do when you go through a disheartening loss and you haven’t seen the deeper purpose in it yet? First, here’s what not to do, the mistakes. Here’s how most of us react out of our ego fear space:
- We see a disaster as a punishment from God, rather than as a lesson from our Higher Self
- We get stuck in the moment and see it as the dreary end, rather than as a new beginning
- We interpret our physical circumstances as the only circumstances; we ignore the metaphysical meaning that has the bigger blesson
- We apply false meaning to a situation, either consciously or subconsciously: i.e. “He left me because I am not good enough” or more insidious subconscious thoughts like: “My YouTube channel closed because I am too mystical for the world to appreciate me”
- Loss is happening to me because I am unlovable, not good enough, too feminine, weird, etc.
- We think, “Here we go again, I am being abandoned again! See, what’s the point of loving if I get left every time?!”
All kinds of dark subconscious and conscious thoughts ooze out of us that aren’t very nice. But isn’t it nice to know what we’re actually thinking about ourselves? If things were always peaching on the outside, we’d never know how we actually felt about ourselves on the inside. If you can go through a major loss, trauma, or hardship and come through stronger, you know that you really love yourself and feel worthy of healing. If you let the situation destroy you or become an excuse for failure or living life from fear, it means that there are a lot more lessons to learn! And the Universe will certainly bring them to you. Over, and over, and over again until you figure out the core of your belief systems, the BS, so you can remedy them. Here are my top tips to help you get through loss and death, breakups etc very quickly:
- See death as your teacher
- Do a loss/death ceremony
- Allow yourself time to hurt, grieve, and heal
- Talk to a counselor, coach, friend, or shaman
- Try to find the real reason this is happening by asking what energies are being purged, and which energies are you ready to call in?
- Be willing to let something greater show up, and don’t feel guilty or bad about this.
My answer is that no, you will never truly be the same person that you were before the love and before the loss. You are permanently changed, but you will soon realize that you are stronger, more capable to love, and of being loved. The sandstorm will die down and you will see the foundation of your heart has only grown more rooted with branches are open wide. I have seen my clients turn heartache and tragedy quickly into a healthy dose of self-love and divine trust which transforms into their Twin Flame relationship. I have also witnessed and have been someone who has dwelled on the past and have used that time to recalibrate who I am and figure out why I am here. My painful losses have been the medicine that has allowed me to love fully and deeply in my relationships, career, community, etc.
By hitting bottom, we know how deep we truly are!
There are no right or wrongs. If you get over the heartbreak in a day or a decade, know that as long as you keep going you are growing towards the light. You will eventually mend your heart and when you are ready, you will birth a new body of love again in a different form. It is always the same essence recycled though: Divine Universal Love! Everything is made up of that, in different configurations based on your current desires and need for conscious growth. The Universe always guides you in perfect timing. When the ground disappears underneath you and you drop, surrender, and perhaps enjoy the ride. My former YouTube channel is no longer, but I will build something even better. I am inspired now more than ever before to:
- Rebuild a higher end consciousness-meets-mainstream channel
- Write a book Twin Flame Ignited: Your Sacred Path to the Beloved
- Create a Twin Flame Love retreat and community on Crete!
Guess what happened within 24 hours of the death of my channel? A huge TV production company I had interviewed with offered me a gig on a reality TV show where I will be a Twin Flame Matchmaker! I am so psyched – I feel it’s time to bring Twin Flame relationships into the spotlight. I also got interviewed on Kara Maria Ananda’s Divina Radio Show on Twin Flames, which was life altering (her story melted my heart!). Before closing, in order to help us get through a death or loss, I suggest using these two simple questions:
- What is the real meaning behind why this is happening? And;
- Which energies are you now ready to call in with the space you’re creating via the loss?
Thanks for reading, let us know what your tools or tips are, and what you think in the comment box below. Namaste!