Healing and Embracing the Shadow Masculine

Healing and Embracing the Shadow Masculine

What is the Shadow Masculine, and why is it important to heal it?

How can we heal our Shadow Masculine–in both ourselves and our partnerships?

In this article, I share a list of the top 25 attributes of the Shadow Masculine and offer a brief sacred sexuality exercise to awaken and heal the Shadow Masculine in yourself, and within your Sacred Union.

What is the Shadow Masculine?

Everything in the universe exists within polarity. Love is balanced by fear, light is the polar opposite of dark, black and white, up and down, fire and water, male and female. It all brings balance.

Dr. Bruce Lipton says that 95% of our thoughts are housed in our subconscious mind. The Shadow Masculine is the powerful aspect of the Divine Masculine expressed in its “negative,” or subconscious duality.

Underneath the surface of all of us lies a sneaky beast…

We can only harness the positive attributes when we allow for the polarized negative, or “Shadow” aspects. Therefore, in order to embrace love, we must face fear. In order to fully step into our feminine power, we must also step into our masculine power. Yin balances yang, baby.

In this modern word, we have tried suppressing the Shadow Masculine, making men into boys, and women into men. It’s not working! The divorce rate while dropping is still near 50%, and less and less people are even going there…

In order to find harmony in the New Paradigm–in your life, business, and relationships–it is crucial for both men and women to align with their Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine aspects before entering into Sacred Union.

Therefore, it’s time to awaken the beast of the Shadow Masculine within YOU and your beloved!

Here is a list of the top 25 attributes of the Shadow Masculine:

  1. Fear of surrendering to the feminine
  2. Rigidity
  3. Controlling tendencies
  4. Hatred (of self, other, an organization, of God/dess)
  5. Entitlement issues (especially when insecurities arise)
  6. Narcissism
  7. Anger
  8. Jealousy
  9. Insecurity
  10. Competition (coming from separation)
  11. Greed
  12. Taking what he wants without consent
  13. Not listening to the feminine
  14. Judgment
  15. Harshness–in language, touch, energy, etc
  16. Mistrust and abuse of the feminine
  17. Suppressing emotions/not expressing vulnerability
  18. Neglecting the inner child/children
  19. Underlying codependence issues with women
  20. Denying the value of the feminine while taking advantage of her
  21. Suppressed sexuality and sensuality/sexual shame
  22. Inability to receive pleasure or abundance
  23. Fear of abandonment, but not willing to admit it (even to self)
  24. Tantrums/outbursts of rage
  25. Acting out from the inner child while doing everything he can to look like a powerful leader

Do you have any of the Shadow Masculine patterns? Check off which ones you have from the list above, and no judgement! You can alchemically transform these qualities into gold if you are determined, but you first must be honest with yourself.

And ladies…Yes, even women may have many of them!

Men, if you have many or all of these, deep breath. You probably have a lot of suppressed feminine energy and pleasure that is ready to come out and find you!

Why is the Shadow Masculine so important?

Do you have any of these patterns?

For millennia, we have been living in a patriarchal paradigm that has excluded women from seats of power in religions, politics, business and the list goes on.

We have veered out of balanced and all of us have been suffering. Both men and women feel disconnected from the Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine.

This shows up as wealth, health, relationship, and life imbalances.

Fortunately, we have reached the 2012 Shift and the Divine Feminine is rising in women and men around the world. An alignment is being made…. We are meant to harness the Shadow and merge it with the Light.

However, there is still a great deal of subconscious Shadow remaining in the collective that needs to be revealed, allowed, and healed.  The problem is that most of us are living in shame, and our egos are doing whatever it takes to hide our own Shadows!

Yet both men and women must embrace their Shadow Masculine and Shadow Feminine so we can awaken and align with our Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine. This is the only way to the New Earth, and to the New Paradigm Relationships.

I believe that we must craft new Divine Masculine structures that work for us, not against us, especially in areas of relationships/marriage, business, soul purpose, and building the new wealth codes.

We must also learn to harness our Divine Feminine energies and skills in spirituality, channeling, teaching, relating, and bring these gifts into the masculine structures.

It all starts by doing the work on ourselves, and taking the alignment found within and applying it to all areas of their lives. This is where the collective healing begins…

But how? Time to awaken your Dark Masculine Side!

All of us benefit from becoming conscious of and harnessing our Shadow Masculine aspects. Only then can we put them to good use.

One of the fastest ways to heal and explore the Shadow Masculine is through Sacred Sexuality practices. This is where we can discover what’s going on in our subconscious minds; the body and sexual energy fields are where hidden thoughts are stored after all.

Our turn-ons never lie, but our heads often do!

Shadow Masculine Exploration Exercise:

Here’s an example of healing the Masculine Shadow through Sacred Sexuality work.

Create a sacred container with candles, incense, and anoint each other. Connect how you like to connect–yab yum, kissing, caressing, eye gazing.

Then, when you’re warmed up, take turns allowing each partner to role-play with the Shadow Masculine energy.

One partner takes on the Dark Masculine role…You or they may choose to dance, tease, talk, or touch. Maybe rough…simply allow what flows through. Warning: do have a safe word if you go rough, and a conversation beforehand about boundaries and desires.

You may even play a dark “dom,” role, where your partner plays the sub…

Have fun and explore it! Then do the following:

  1. Notice: What comes up for you in playing your role?
  2. Ask: Which of the following 25 attributes did you express?
  3. Ask: How did your partner receive it? (Let them express openly)
  4. Discuss how you were both turned on, and how this is showing up (or not yet) in your life?
  5. Ask: What do you want more of?

Then switch roles! And repeat the exercise.


There is an art to harnessing the Shadow, and the opportunity is not only to find pleasure, but to also bring up the subconscious in both partners.

It is very likely that you may find trauma and shame, which is why it’s important to set a solid container, to do Sacred Sexuality work with the right mentor, and to have a loving community to support you through the process. We are all waking up together!

We are each stepping up and stepping into the New Relationship Paradigms and into the New Earth.

We’re creating a world where bliss and bli$$ness is the norm. This renaissance requires a deep inner seeking and also many conscious conversations within our communities of new thought leaders.

It takes a village of sexy priestesses and priests who are willing to go there, to unleash the beast and grow together.

Please comment below where you are learning the most about your Shadow Masculine, or where it’s showing up in your partnership/bli$$ness.

I look forward to growing together!


Dr. Amanda Noelle is a Twin Flame Matchmaker; she helps single spiritual smarties get soulmated to their Twin Flames. Check out her services here.

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Everyone--both men and women--have masculine or feminine energy, and that these energies must be balanced. Many people, even women, are lacking feminine energy (or are hiding their feminine side) in the overly-masculine world.

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