How to Accept Credit Cards in Your Small Business as a Unicorn

How to Accept Credit Cards in Your Small Business as a Unicorn

by | Jul 9, 2013 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

Merchant account. Payment gateway. PCI compliance. Virtual terminal. Error message, again…. A million different passwords to remember and and hundreds of hoops to jump through, and all you wanna do is chill today meditating with the unicorns and fairies in your garden! What is a High-Healed Priestess (HHP) hippie-chick gonna do in her BLI$$ness when she absolutely must accept credit cards to make the big love buck$, yet the process of accepting them makes her tremble in her heels as she walks this uphill masculine road in the world of banks n’ business?

Today I navigated through some murky uncharted territories in banking and ecommerce; I wanted to share the process with you so that you can feel empowered to add credit card processing to your BLI$$ness, and you’ll be prepared to do so HHP style…. High-Healed Priestess big girls’ panties on  – unicorn-riding ladies, read on!

I wanted to hurl when I deal with money as a 4-figure hippie-healer chick.

I wanted to hurl when I dealt with my money (or lack thereof) as a 4-figure hippie-healer chick in my 20s.

I’m a heart-based healer, a spiritual coach, Divine Feminine Lightworker, energy practitioner, unicorn rider, and shaman by nature… I am a High-Healed Priestess, not a business woman, so I decided to come up with the term BLI$$preneur for myself and other luscious ladies who dig turning their BLI$$ into 6-Figure BLI$$nesses.  A few years ago, the thought of accepting credit cards for my holistic spa business would’ve made me want to vomit. Now that I am much stronger and have done lots of healing on my Feminine and Masculine, I am open to the Divine Masculine and I receive as a High-Healed Priestess, energetically and financially. So I have been accepting payments on PayPal’s credit card systems for around a year, but PayPal fees are high unless someone gives you their physical card to swipe. Experts had told me it was time to switch from PayPal to accepting credit cards, because my business had grown quickly and I had high dollar-amount transactions.  So about three months ago, I switched to using 1shoppingcart.com, authorize.net, and a merchant account with a gateway set up through my bank. Getting these systems in place took a lot of steps over the course of about a month; it was a big scary step for me in my pink heels! Yet since doing so, I now have automatic billing, and I am insured that my clients’ cards are being swiped (before I would occasionally forget, whoops!).

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Steppin’ out as a HHP ain’t always comfortable.

My next big step

Last week, Kay Koh, my amazing bookkeeper, was like “Amanda, your credit card fees look insanely high!”  Let me first say that when I was an ungrounded hippie-healer chick, I would have hated having a bookkeeper because the thought of looking at and keeping track of money frightened me. I would feel death shuddering through my body when taxes came up and do anything to avoid paying them – probably why I only earned 4-figures throughout my twenties!  So this time around, as a more enlightened HHP, I knew I had to deal with the situation. Yech…

“Can’t we live in a world where we’re all one and don’t have to deal with money?” was my first thought.  My second thought in response to that was, “Yes, just not today!  You gotta deal with this $h*t and shift it in order to restore the wealth consciousness for the Divine Feminine.” Darnit!  Stupid spirit guides channeling through me with the truth…

 

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During my credit card escapade today, I was assisted on the phone by four different male and two female support employees at my merchant account, Authorize.net, and PayPal centers, and also via email a few times with my bank. It was head-spinning and I started to go into melt-down-mode at my desk. I hate that! There were all these little steps to take, being put on hold, getting passed to the next agent, and teensy tangles to sort out… In my past, I’d wanna run away and go back to being a hippie-healer chick stuck in her upper chakras, spiritual, woo-woo, and in a world only accessible to me and the unicorns (I still go there often, trust me, but now it’s more intentional than a fear-escape).

When I spoke with an account expert at First Data, my merchant account peeps, he explained some startling news about my transaction fees. While I had been told I’d be paying just 2.1% for each transaction, I was actually paying 3.5%.  Why have I been paying a whopping 3.5% for my credit card transaction fees? This isn’t even including what I pay annually for 1shoppingcart.com (around $700/year), which is crazy, and it’s even higher than PayPal’s Transaction fees!

How I dealt with the drama

This little guy did it, why can't we?

This little guy did it, why can’t we?

Suddenly, it hit me like a bolt of Divine wisdom! I became like a unicorn with a golden corn, letting that stress dance below me. Newsflash: my money and credit cards aren’t me, they’re just a game I play in the Divine game of life. I started smiling and laughing… I so think laughter is a spiritual key of doing BLI$$ness! We can get so serious about money and numbers until it turns us blue in the face and kills us…so un-HPP!

I noticed myself stop breathing, so I breathed. My posture was hideous, so I sat up straight.  I asked the guys if there was a way to lower my ridiculous merchant fees, and it turns out there was a simple solution!  We looked into it, and because I have international clients and some American clients who have unusual types of credit cards, my fees were not being approved for the 2.15% rate I was being promised.  So the guy, who seemed like a real sweetie, offered me a program called Interchange Plus which had rates that would fit me best, dropping my average transaction fees to a flat 1.9%.  Also, he apologized for the inconvenience of my super-high rates, and gave me a $100 refund, so mama can go buy a nice dinner in her new big girl bejeweled HHP panties!

Also, I imagined that the women were supporting me from a “you can do it sister!” vibe, and that the men were thinking “of course I want to support you, you are a High-Healed Priestess and we men like to serve!” which made it kinda fun. Years past I would have thought “they want to behead me or burn me at the stake for owning my pleasures and power,” but today felt relatively easy!  Funny how when we see the world differently, our world changes.  I dunno about you, but I choose to see BLI$$ everywhere!

Pampurr yourself!

It wasn’t BLI$$ful doing these actions today, so I am going to reward myself with a few treats (a new Canon SLR camera, green juice, and a beach walk!).  I’m also going to cut back on the things I was planning to do this afternoon because, let’s face it, you can’t do too many stressful things in a day without getting a bad complexion, and that’s not good for BLI$$ness!

Don’t forget to create your reality in your BLI$$ness – knock off those old unblissful victim patterns and just allow even the most mundane or difficult things be part of your HHP adventure!  Then, make sure you pamper yourself up the wazoo with some glorious things like baths, healthy foods, exercise, treats, tango lessons, whatever you want! Drink lots of water if you’ve just stressed, it’ll make you feel like a new woman. Finally, this may sound a little unicorny, but you are a queen now, so take that throne seriously sister, and FEMpower yourself by not wavering in your goals, bliss, and spiritual connection!

Aho, namaste.

Amandicorn

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How to Accept Credit Cards in Your Small Business as a Unicorn

Six Reasons Men (and You) Fear Your Divine Feminine Bliss

by | Jul 3, 2013 | Uncategorized | 0 comments

Thanks for stopping by!  I’m Dr. Amanda Noelle, the BLI$$ness Coach, helping High-Healed Priestesses turn their bliss into 6-Figure BLI$$nesses that heal the planet. And I’d like to tell you why men and your own Divine Masculine aspect have been fearing your Divine Feminine bliss for the past…oh, several thousand years!

Divine Feminine bliss is the scariest thing on the planet. Boo!  Don’t you fear, doubt, and at some times hate your own Divine Feminine bliss?  I know I do on some level.  I know that’s why High Priestesses got kicked out of Egypt thousands of years ago to create a world and civilizations dominated by men at war, in the most ickiest of ways. Greed, war, financial and political systems that screwed women over completely, and many men too.  The raw, robust, alive power of Divine Feminine bliss has gotten us women into trouble in the past, which is why we subconsciously fear death if we follow our bliss. It’s also why we went through many lifetimes of witch burnings and persecution and why we’ve been kicked out of The Temple (in most all religions worldwide, collectively I call this “The Temple” but it also relates to the Temple of Solomon that was once based on a Sacred Feminine site).

Divine Feminine BlissThe Divine Feminine is bad, the Patriarchy is good, it is God. What!? That’s what we were programmed with for the past 5,000ish years, and it’s only now that we’re really waking up to the BS (belief systems/bullshit) that we’ve been living by.

We’ve been taught to fear our Divine Femininity: our bliss, our beauty, female intuition, and even our own bodies, especially our vaginas. Our own gorgeous vaginas! What the f#c&!  Why in heaven’s name have we been raised with this mashugana, this total distorted brainwashing (and even PU$$Y washing, which is why Summer’s Eve Douche tries to tell you your sacred temple needs some chemicals up there), this dis-ease that has disempowered us from our own sacred feminine treasures and bliss? It’s so unsexy, and it’s caused a lot of healers, high priestesses, and spiritual men – and really all of us – unnecessary pain by this raping and abuse of the Divine Feminine.  Thank Goddess this backwards era is coming to an end and we Vaginas can take over again (or at least share the planet with our Twin Flame/equal men!)

Men (and you) are afraid of Divine Feminine bliss for the following 6 reasons. I am not saying they don’t love it and adore it and even go crazy over it. They do! But there’s a lot of healing we have to do in our businesses and with our own masculine and around being seen with men. So I share this list with you:

  • Power is scary The Divine Feminine is a very powerful force, and power is powerful, which makes the parts of us that don’t feel powerful want to run and hide.
  • Men are envious of our procreative power Men have been envious of the Divine Feminine gifts that we women hold, and that’s natural because we are indeed amazing, but we haven’t set a boundary being like “Yo men, we’re awesome, and you are jealous about that, but it’s not our fault so go deal with it and create something awesome with your Divine Masculine amazingness.”
  • Your goddess energy makes him crazy Divine Feminine energies can make men go crazy; their lust and desires for it can make them feel out of control, so to some men this arousing property in women is very intimidating, scary.
  • He’s angry at his mama The Divine Feminine power has made men very angry at their mothers for creating life (their life) and then for the separation from that life; whereas girls can create life at some point and are always in a womb vibration because we have wombs.  That is why birthing has been so painful instead of ecstatic, when birthing should be and can be ecstatic.  The guilt carried by women in our wombs for being so magical and powerful needs to stop, and we need to start being proud of our magic again.
  • His vibration is slower than yours Females have an energetic vibration of 140 beats/second, while men have a vibration of only 40 beats; when in utero we all have a vibration of 240 beats through our pregnant mothers’ high vibrations.  The separation process from mother can be more traumatic for boys for this reason. The boys grow up and become men but they haven’t resolved this inner conflict and are often holding subconscious anger towards the Feminine for abandoning him. This is why many men abandon women over and over again, and why many women fear abandonment with men.

Men, you are awesome, we need you.  But/and we cannot sit around feeling guilty all the time for the fact that you can’t birth life and that your energy runs differently from ours. We do need you, we are lonely without you and you do so many things for us.  Your energy is very grounding and we’d love your support. But we are no longer willing to pay the price by subduing ourselves, numbing out our Feminine Energy, blocking our sacred sexuality, or trying to become like you.  Finally, we’re not sorry that we’re hot mamas, sexy tantrickas, spiritual-intuitives, and part of the sacred mystery of creation (and so are you, we need your seed)!  We honor your gifts and your abilities, and now it’s our time that you honor ours.  We hope you understand.  We love you, we hold you, and we’re not doing it as martyrs but as enlightened High-Heal Priestesses who expect the best and who are willing to wait until you can join us for this amazing Twin Flame dance party of Divine Feminine and Divine Masculine bliss on the sacred Gaian dance floor.

Women, we gotta own our bliss! Grab onto our PU$$Y Power! Hold your O-balls (ovaries)!! Let’s start rebuilding The Divine Feminine Temple again so there’s a space for men and women to co-create together. We must start with rebuilding the Divine Feminine Temple without men as the center and it may take focusing on women at first to ground and stabilize the Feminine frequency.

With our Divine Feminine bliss, we must tap into our wealth consciousness, and our financial power. Honestly, how blissful can a woman be if she’s traveling in hostels or Motel 6s while on her bliss mission? I’m leaving on a jet plane for Italy next month to follow my bliss, and it was the scariest decision I had to make because there was so much energy saying that if I followed my bliss something bad would happen, my business would fail, I would lose money, I would be stuck in a bad situation… But I chose to go anyway to show my HHPs (High-Healed Priestesses) that they absolutely must start owning their Divine Feminine bliss and there are no excuses anymore!

Be a beacon of bliss, be the bliss temple, the ecstasy, and in doing so you will heal all the past generations of persecution and pain in all of your past ancestors and soulmates, and future ancestors and future soul mates. And of course of your Beloved Twin Flame.